SO THIS IS WHAT GUYS GET UP TO...

Ummmmm.......
I hope i don't get pregnant watching this, or maybe i hope i do..... i dunno...

Check relentless working the corner of the room @ 2min15secs, hysterical.

TELEFONE

Alex Steiner is one of a small handful of highschool friends i remain in contact with. I'm sure you can understand why.
Stingray, I've never told you this, but for about 8 years now you have been what i wanted to - and still want to - be when i grow up.
I loves you.

DID HE JUST SAY THAT?

"I'm serious as cancer
When i say
Rhythm is a dancer"

In 1992 band 'Snap' brought out the disco gem that is 'Rhythm is a dancer'.
Did he just say that?
Yeah. He did.

WHAT CAN YOU SAY?

There's nothing i can even write.

GIL SCOTT - HERON FT.MOS DEF - NEW YORK IS KILLING ME.*NEW 2010*

I saw Gil Scott-Heron live in Central Park about 2 weeks ago, and it was life changing. What a freaking legend. I can't even really describe what it meant to me, and how i felt, nor can i describe the vibe of the crowd... If you have time, check my favourite tune of his 'Winter in America' which was released in 1974. *sighs* love.

2010

My sentiments for 2010 exactly.

DUBTASTIC

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! heavy bassline. my kinda tune.

COOPERS FISH AND SEAFOOD

Ever since i was a little girl, i have been a freak magnet. Nutbars and Druggies have always been drawn to me. Whether it's the petite old lady in a pink nightdress and one pink slipper my dad found on the roof screaming "Belle! Belle!" when i was about 8, or in my day to day travels these days with fruitcakes just assuming friendship (which i don't mind, to be honest).
I was at a train station in BedStuy, Brooklyn at about half 11 pm one night last week when i made one of my new friends. A very short, very old (i'm tippin 65) black guy approached me. He had cornrows, no teeth, was on crutches, and one of his trouser legs was shorts and the other leg was pants. he mumbled some friendly and enthusiastic ramblings at me for a while about us meeting before (we hadn't) and and something about an autograph, before digging in his backpack and pulling out a book. he gave me the slip of paper i have photographed below before clicking his tongue at me, a toothless grin, and hobbling away. I guess that means i wont have to look for a job when i (hopefully) move to New York sometime next year. Brilliant.

OH I DO HEART CRAZIES

I was actually watching tv when this was on, and i remember half laughing out loud, half frowning in confusion. Once you get over the gloriousness of whatever the hell you just saw, it's not difficult to be pretty amazed that this story made it onto our current affairs program. Oh Australia. This is almost as good as the old man on the police show who described the assailant as being "skinny in the face, very tanned, and with long hair like Jesus".

AUSTRALIA, STAND UP

Sometimes i really hate Australia. We are a racist, sexist, homophobic nation.... incredibly ignorant, and 20 years behind the rest of the world. Our country is a white boys club: footy, beer and pies....
HOWEVER, sometimes i love Australia for all those very same qualities (ok maybe not racist and homophobic)... and this clip of a really endearingly enthusiastic and stupid footy rev up talk is a perfect example of one of those times. Proud to be Aussie.

BUM BANDITS

I saw this graffiti on one of those possum stopper bands around a tree when i was on my way to an exam a couple of weeks ago:



I don't know who you are, Bum Bandits, and i don't think i want to find out...

10 THINGS

10 things dudes should not do in a Stripclub - Part 1

So i've been a bartender in a Melbourne strip club for quite a long time now (sorry you had to find out like this, mum and dad, but i promise it's the safest place i've ever worked, security/management/other barstaff are my family, and it hasn't crossed my mind once to start dancing) and needless to say, i've seen a fair bit. Before i worked there, i wouldn't be lying if i said i looked down on strippers, but now i look down on the dudes that GO to the strippers. You idiots do some fair stupid stuff... Here is the first of a few lists of things you shouldn't do, but things that have definitely been done......

10. Do not, under any circumstance, order a vodka raspberry. You are not a sixteen year old girl.
9. Please don't high five each other for no apparent reason other than you are in a stripclub. Come on boys, that's not very G.
8. Don't try to smell the dancers. You know what i mean. It just isn't cool.
7. Don't try to make friends with security so you get in free next time/claim you know the owner/ask for your usual at the bar when you aren't a regular. You are pathetic and transparent. You are a certified peanut not a certified G.
6. Please don't urinate in the fire exit. Someone has to clean that up you know.
5. Don't be so drunk you take a dump in your pants when you're having a private dance. It stinks out the whole area for hours.
4. Don't bring a gun into the club, pull it out on a dancer, hide it in the piano when you're being searched, then wave it around as you leave the building... We don't even know if it was real but seriously, there's no need for that.
3. Don't throw up on yourself and then pass out lying down in the urinal. There's ALSO no need for that.
2. Don't try to pick up the bargirls. Just don't even bother. We are surrounded by idiots like you every time we work, and do you HONESTLY think if we were going to choose a man to date, it would be one who came into the STRIPCLUB we work in? I don't think so.
1. Don't be a totally creepy 40 year old man and tell the bartender that you regularly have sex with your 15 year old cousin, get banned for it, then get banned from the sister club for sticking your hand down your buttcrack in front of a dancer and licking your fingers. There was poo involved. I'm not even kidding people, this man exists.