"We punched it in the dick"
This is, apparently, a saying to express that you did something to the best of your ability.
I will HONESTLY be forever in debt to Murky Depths of australian grime crew Smash Brothers for bringing this saying into my life. So amazing.
Oh, and the rude word doesn't count because it's a quote.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
PEEP SHOW
Quote of the day/week/lifetime is:
"This is fucking wicked. I'm almost definitely a musical genius. Maybe a tattoo... on my chest... but... of my face. Yeahh! Double me! Feel it!"
(Jez, Series 1, Episode 1)
Peep Show. Watch it.
"This is fucking wicked. I'm almost definitely a musical genius. Maybe a tattoo... on my chest... but... of my face. Yeahh! Double me! Feel it!"
(Jez, Series 1, Episode 1)
Peep Show. Watch it.
PRETTY SURE 'LIPZ' IS ACTUALLY SPELT WITH AN 'S'
COLD FLAMEZ - LICK MY LIPZ
Ok, I have to confess i am secretly a little bit of a lover of the whole 'jerk' movement (except that most of the dudes in this genre of music are still teens...). But yeah, the whole skinny jeans and lots of tatts thing is working for me...... what is not working for me however, are the lyrics to the chorus of a particular song by group Cold Flamez. I'll see if you can guess what the song is called...
"When she walk by
And she swings her hips
Yeeah, i licks my lips
Yeeah i licks my lips
I licks my lips
Yeeah i licks my lips
I licks my lips
I licks my"
Well, I guess the poor lil fellas ran out of words.
Ok, I have to confess i am secretly a little bit of a lover of the whole 'jerk' movement (except that most of the dudes in this genre of music are still teens...). But yeah, the whole skinny jeans and lots of tatts thing is working for me...... what is not working for me however, are the lyrics to the chorus of a particular song by group Cold Flamez. I'll see if you can guess what the song is called...
"When she walk by
And she swings her hips
Yeeah, i licks my lips
Yeeah i licks my lips
I licks my lips
Yeeah i licks my lips
I licks my lips
I licks my"
Well, I guess the poor lil fellas ran out of words.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS DEFINITELY NOT WORTH IT
I just received this facebook quote courtesy of Fraksha (It obviously wasn't HE who actually wrote it). And when i read it i did a little sicky burp in my mouth.
COURT ORDER!! You are accused of : Crawling into my HEART and hijacking my smiles with your FRIENDSHIP...........!!!!!!HOW DO YOU PLEAD?GUILTY!! You are sentenced to be my friend forever! NO BAIL!! Send thisto all of your friends including me! If you get 10 back, your friendshipis worth it
COURT ORDER!! You are accused of : Crawling into my HEART and hijacking my smiles with your FRIENDSHIP...........!!!!!!HOW DO YOU PLEAD?GUILTY!! You are sentenced to be my friend forever! NO BAIL!! Send thisto all of your friends including me! If you get 10 back, your friendshipis worth it
TEMPZ!
The charming and talented UK producer LOCO just sent me this image - i guess he knows of my total and utter love of Tempz. So Jokes.
Monday, May 24, 2010
ZING ZING ZOOM
So i have been jokingly made the Australian Bloodline Correspondent by the big man himself, so i thought i'd best give him some props. This is one of my favourite tracks off Street Crime UK and i love this video. it's actually one of the first Big H experiences i ever had (thankyou Oli) sometime last year, and i have been a big fan ever since. future husband files? yes much.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
1234
So this is a pretty drunk Scott Hinds after a massive Wobble last year. If i remember rocleclec some eediot spilt vodka raspberry on me that night (what IS it with dudes and vodka raspberry???) so i demanded he went to the bar and purchase both Kitty and I a drink each as payback, and he was so waste he actually did it.... Anywho, this video is hilarious, couldn't have scripted the phone call from Fraksha any better. Check out LOFTBTV's youtube channel, some funny clips and rad music there for you to enjoy.
KATT WILLIAMS WEED REMIX
OK so i totally taxed this pretty clever remix of some Katt Williams standup from Big H's facebook page. Now there's a fella for the future husband files. Big H not Katt Williams i mean. I probably prefer his stuff when his dreads were only just as long as his ears, but i think anything he does is pretty amazing. Anyway, if you haven't watched Katt Williams' standup, make sure you do.
Friday, May 21, 2010
WHAT A COCK
I am personally a bit of a fan of graffiti as art, and i don't even mind tagging so long as it's not ruining someone's perfect white picket fence and it says something interesting or intelligent or funny.
There's really not actually that much graffiti on the grounds of Melbourne University, so when i saw this fabulous artwork on some unused doors of quite a beautiful old building, i just had to take a photo of it:
Really? REALLY? is that the best you could come up with?
There's really not actually that much graffiti on the grounds of Melbourne University, so when i saw this fabulous artwork on some unused doors of quite a beautiful old building, i just had to take a photo of it:
Really? REALLY? is that the best you could come up with?
MEAN MACHINE
INTERRUPTED FRIENDSHIP VIDEO
E-Le'git | MySpace Music Videos
(sigh). So i rediscovered this little gem today (it did the rounds early last year i think). amazing. i don't even know what to say. it's even BETTER than i remember it.
OPINIONS, EVERONE'S GOT ONE
A good (and very honest) friend messaged me in the middle of the night last night to tell me (among other things) that he liked my blog but he did think there were a couple of points where it seemed like i was trying too hard to be funny.
WELL, listen mate, i'm not trying too hard to be anything.
And by the way,
my Mum says i'm funny.
So there.
WELL, listen mate, i'm not trying too hard to be anything.
And by the way,
my Mum says i'm funny.
So there.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
ANOTHER WEAK EFFORT
Having recently become a member of one of the most hated groups in this city - cyclists - i have imagined many an incident in which i end up in hospital, or at least, narrowly escape such an event.
i have never really hurt myself very badly at any point in my life, the worst incident was probably slicing the whole bottom of my palm open quite deeply - many stitches needed - but alas, i did it on a roll of glad wrap so it was not a particularly exciting story to tell my friends.
my whole life i have been envious of those kids who would be away from school for a few days and return with a cast on their arm for everyone to write on, or even luckier in my eyes one on their leg. Broken bones, stitches, even getting braces was something i was envious of. (now that i'm thinking back, i DID get to wear a pirate-style eye patch for a while in year 11, which was pretty cool. However, it was because some kid in year 7 accidentally kicked a soccer ball into my face so again, not that great a story)...
Whilst i certainly haven't been HOPING i would end up in hospital as a result of riding a bike, i have definitely imagined a thousand glamorous scenarios which would be my inevitable first crash. you know, getting hit by a car pulling out of a side street (gently enough i don't hurt myself), riding over some sharp bump and flipping over the handle bars but landing on my feet like a ninja, pelting along the road and getting clipped by a tram that sends me flying along the ground in front of a moving truck, but army rolling out of harm's way Indiana Jones style. Maybe even saving a baby in the process.
But no, my first crash was to be nothing of the sort. My first crash (like my few other life injuries) was to be one of the most ridiculous, uncoordinated mishaps that even i could think of:
So there i was, flying along the road riding from uni to the pub (thursday is cider day for me and the girls in my spanish class) when SUDDENLY the handle bars dropped (and i tumbled forward) and me and the bike crumpled together and slid along the road for a metre or so (the rough gravel did its darndest to stop us going far). Knee smashed into the ground and the slide burnt a hole in my jeans and grazed my leg, wrist tangled in the handlebars and palm all scratched up from breaking my fall, backpack on top of my head and bike grease all over my ankles and shoes. in a split second i stood up and dragged the bike and the front wheel to the side of the road so i didn't top my fall by getting run over as well. yes, the bike and the front wheel.
In true to myself fashion, i had managed to crash my bike without even crashing it. i had hurt myself and made a complete fool of myself in front of an entire cafe full of people independent of any other moving, or even stationary, object.
Yes, my front wheel fell off. Completely detached itself from the bike while i was pelting at full speed.
Skills.
i have never really hurt myself very badly at any point in my life, the worst incident was probably slicing the whole bottom of my palm open quite deeply - many stitches needed - but alas, i did it on a roll of glad wrap so it was not a particularly exciting story to tell my friends.
my whole life i have been envious of those kids who would be away from school for a few days and return with a cast on their arm for everyone to write on, or even luckier in my eyes one on their leg. Broken bones, stitches, even getting braces was something i was envious of. (now that i'm thinking back, i DID get to wear a pirate-style eye patch for a while in year 11, which was pretty cool. However, it was because some kid in year 7 accidentally kicked a soccer ball into my face so again, not that great a story)...
Whilst i certainly haven't been HOPING i would end up in hospital as a result of riding a bike, i have definitely imagined a thousand glamorous scenarios which would be my inevitable first crash. you know, getting hit by a car pulling out of a side street (gently enough i don't hurt myself), riding over some sharp bump and flipping over the handle bars but landing on my feet like a ninja, pelting along the road and getting clipped by a tram that sends me flying along the ground in front of a moving truck, but army rolling out of harm's way Indiana Jones style. Maybe even saving a baby in the process.
But no, my first crash was to be nothing of the sort. My first crash (like my few other life injuries) was to be one of the most ridiculous, uncoordinated mishaps that even i could think of:
So there i was, flying along the road riding from uni to the pub (thursday is cider day for me and the girls in my spanish class) when SUDDENLY the handle bars dropped (and i tumbled forward) and me and the bike crumpled together and slid along the road for a metre or so (the rough gravel did its darndest to stop us going far). Knee smashed into the ground and the slide burnt a hole in my jeans and grazed my leg, wrist tangled in the handlebars and palm all scratched up from breaking my fall, backpack on top of my head and bike grease all over my ankles and shoes. in a split second i stood up and dragged the bike and the front wheel to the side of the road so i didn't top my fall by getting run over as well. yes, the bike and the front wheel.
In true to myself fashion, i had managed to crash my bike without even crashing it. i had hurt myself and made a complete fool of myself in front of an entire cafe full of people independent of any other moving, or even stationary, object.
Yes, my front wheel fell off. Completely detached itself from the bike while i was pelting at full speed.
Skills.
PICK UP MY DOG FAM
Look, i don't care what anyone says about these boys or what they do, i love them. Having lived in England, one of the first things i noticed was that every male between the ages of 12 and 30 think they're a badman. Well maybe not every single male, but a large majority. everyone thinks they're hood, everyone thinks they're a big boy dealer, everyone thinks they're hard, and everyone thinks they're a sick mc. as a symbol of what's going on in the society, i think the badman epidemic is a little scary: it's a survival thing, and it's also a way for displaced young men to defend themselves, and to belong. However, on a superficial level- and you can watch many a grime youtube clip where one mc goes on a rant about how they're the baddest and they're going to shank this person and lord knows what else that person - i find it quite amusing. i love Shadrack and the Mandem because they take the living piss (i know i said i wouldn't swear in my posts, does 'piss' count?) out of this trend. i just wish young men would leave the naughtiness, the dealing and PARTICULARLY the mc-ing to those who actually know what they're doing.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
TUNES
Music you should listen to if you like hiphop/grime and/or want to be a better person so your mum isn't embarrassed of you.
Fraksha - It's Just Bars
MPHAZES - Good Gracious
Scott Hinds - P.O.V. (couldn't find the cover pic)
Byron - Jack of None
Also, if you ever find yourself home alone on a Wednesday night, crying and wanking at the same time while listening to an audio track of the ocean's crashing waves, you should stop that and tune into 87.6fm or www.kissfm.com.au at 11.30pm to listen to the stunningly beautiful Cat Clarke (you would be surprised you can actually HEAR her beauty on the radio) and the hilarious - and equally beautiful - Huw Joseph on his show Midnight Shakedown. Tonight they are interviewing/hanging out with unfairly talented and all round ruler MPHAZES - pictured here between the two, looking a little like peewee herman...or something...
Fraksha - It's Just Bars
MPHAZES - Good Gracious
Scott Hinds - P.O.V. (couldn't find the cover pic)
Byron - Jack of None
Also, if you ever find yourself home alone on a Wednesday night, crying and wanking at the same time while listening to an audio track of the ocean's crashing waves, you should stop that and tune into 87.6fm or www.kissfm.com.au at 11.30pm to listen to the stunningly beautiful Cat Clarke (you would be surprised you can actually HEAR her beauty on the radio) and the hilarious - and equally beautiful - Huw Joseph on his show Midnight Shakedown. Tonight they are interviewing/hanging out with unfairly talented and all round ruler MPHAZES - pictured here between the two, looking a little like peewee herman...or something...
MERRY CHRISTMAS INDEED!
The following is a film written, directed, edited and produced by the very talented and slightly quirky Jonathon Gittus.
When i was in years 10 and 11, there was a small group of us at Castlemaine Sec who made films as a hobby every couple of months, one of which actually took five of us to a youth health and participation conference in Auckland,NZ, at the tender age of 16. Jono was the only one (to my knowledge) who really took this further, and 'A very merry christmas' is a product of his third year at RMIT. Everything about this short is right up my alley:weird, sad and darkly funny. Props to the big man Uncle Jonny himself, who is currently living in Japan. Crazy kid!
When i was in years 10 and 11, there was a small group of us at Castlemaine Sec who made films as a hobby every couple of months, one of which actually took five of us to a youth health and participation conference in Auckland,NZ, at the tender age of 16. Jono was the only one (to my knowledge) who really took this further, and 'A very merry christmas' is a product of his third year at RMIT. Everything about this short is right up my alley:weird, sad and darkly funny. Props to the big man Uncle Jonny himself, who is currently living in Japan. Crazy kid!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
PEOPLE LIKE THIS EXIST?
So i recently came across a converstation between two people, two 'friends' of mine, on facebook, and i just couldn't believe my eyes. there's not even really anything i can say about this other than reading it makes me feel the same way i feel when i watch jersey shore: i just. find it. so. incredibly. impossibly. difficult to believe. that people like this are real.
each to their own i guess...
A: Juvederm Juvederm Juvedermmmm!!! oh im so nervous :p
B: if you have 1 ml in your lips it will look very fake hun. also depends on the shape :
A: ooh awesome haha, yeh i love this pic of jenna jamesons lips:
facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/photo.php?pid=3429360&id=156334871448
i know that cant be achieved from just 1 ml but i love that pout look
B: yeh that would just be a ml. I've had one ml and believe me my lips were friggin huge
A: really? she also has lip liner outside her lips...ooohhhh...maybe ill only get a bit on the outside of my bottom lip and the rest in the top...cos the pout is usually when the top lip is same size/slightly bigger than bottom..
B: yep i get most in my top lip. i found 1ml too much for me but u might like it. just explain what look u want.
all u will need is lip gloss after u have had it done and u will have a total pout!
A: yay :) and lip liner on the outside will make them look bigger..but not yukky feral liner!
B: i wear lip liner on the outside and then blend it in with a gloss :)
A: ooh, what brand is good? ive never bought lip liner before, scared it'll look bad like pamela andersons..hers just looks bad in my opinion..
B: I've got a stila one and a Nars one. You can get them at Meccacosmetica. Pamela's make-up is scary full-stop. i hate the look where the lip liner is a diff colour to the gloss/lip stick. yuk
A: yeah, its alright if its light pink liner and clear gloss..but not when its red liner that stands out with clear or light lipgloss
B: yeh that's an ugly, slutty look
A: i usually try to copy jenna jamesons makeup..i think she's soo pretty and she has awesome makeup!
each to their own i guess...
A: Juvederm Juvederm Juvedermmmm!!! oh im so nervous :p
B: if you have 1 ml in your lips it will look very fake hun. also depends on the shape :
A: ooh awesome haha, yeh i love this pic of jenna jamesons lips:
facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/photo.php?pid=3429360&id=156334871448
i know that cant be achieved from just 1 ml but i love that pout look
B: yeh that would just be a ml. I've had one ml and believe me my lips were friggin huge
A: really? she also has lip liner outside her lips...ooohhhh...maybe ill only get a bit on the outside of my bottom lip and the rest in the top...cos the pout is usually when the top lip is same size/slightly bigger than bottom..
B: yep i get most in my top lip. i found 1ml too much for me but u might like it. just explain what look u want.
all u will need is lip gloss after u have had it done and u will have a total pout!
A: yay :) and lip liner on the outside will make them look bigger..but not yukky feral liner!
B: i wear lip liner on the outside and then blend it in with a gloss :)
A: ooh, what brand is good? ive never bought lip liner before, scared it'll look bad like pamela andersons..hers just looks bad in my opinion..
B: I've got a stila one and a Nars one. You can get them at Meccacosmetica. Pamela's make-up is scary full-stop. i hate the look where the lip liner is a diff colour to the gloss/lip stick. yuk
A: yeah, its alright if its light pink liner and clear gloss..but not when its red liner that stands out with clear or light lipgloss
B: yeh that's an ugly, slutty look
A: i usually try to copy jenna jamesons makeup..i think she's soo pretty and she has awesome makeup!
FOREVER HYPE
couldn't be two days into having a blog and not put a lil bit of tempz on here. this is one of the greatest tunes ever made, and is probably my anthem to 2009. it's just tempz all over: outrageous, ridiculous, hilarious without even trying or understanding why, loud, and all in all a total banger. what's with the nakey oiled up parts? i'm not complaining but..... well, it's Tempa T so i guess it needs no explanation, it just IS. no matter how many times i listen to this tune it always makes me want to jump around my bedroom like an idiot.
this idiot loves tempa t so much i've had a couple of t shirts made with quotes of his on them. a little bit of tempz never fails to make my day. enjoy.
'DRAPES! GET OUT THE CAR!!'
WORST PROPOSAL EVER
JAGGED EDGE - LET'S GET MARRIED
Dude: hey babe, how about you “meet me at the alter in your white dress? We ain’t getting no younger so we might aswell do it.”
Lady: erm, what is that? Is that a proposal? Errr, thanks but no thanks. Look, I’ve been sleeping with your brother for the last 2 months. I’m moving in with him.
Ok so Jagged Edge are fair legends, but i couldn't not point this out. Would also like to mention the reason i chose the above photo: i don't know if it's the angle the shot was taken or because their tops are so darn large, but it really looks like they are all getting around on tiny little legs. i amused myself greatly after seeing this picture imagining them running as fast as they could in a race against each other on their short little jagged edge legs.
Dude: hey babe, how about you “meet me at the alter in your white dress? We ain’t getting no younger so we might aswell do it.”
Lady: erm, what is that? Is that a proposal? Errr, thanks but no thanks. Look, I’ve been sleeping with your brother for the last 2 months. I’m moving in with him.
Ok so Jagged Edge are fair legends, but i couldn't not point this out. Would also like to mention the reason i chose the above photo: i don't know if it's the angle the shot was taken or because their tops are so darn large, but it really looks like they are all getting around on tiny little legs. i amused myself greatly after seeing this picture imagining them running as fast as they could in a race against each other on their short little jagged edge legs.
OZ
Flatmate Fraksha recently got me addicted to – nay obsessed with – the HBO series ‘Oz’. I know it’s an oldie but we’ve been watching it religiously for the past couple of weeks now, and I feel to start a cult devoted to it I love it that much.
Unsurprisingly, the crush whore in me has had my eye on many a felon in the Oswald Correctional facility. Notable among my loves is my pedo crush on the obnoxious 17 year old Kenny Wangler, obscure crush on lunatic but deep down good guy Miguel Alvarez, and my creepy crush on rapist/murderer ‘Snake’.
The paddy blood in me trumps all other crushes though, with my devotion to Irish cheekster Ryan O’Reily conquering all.
I don’t know exactly what it is about this guy, but I seriously adore him. Sarcastic, cheeky, devoted, intelligent, selfish, sneaky, manipulative, funny, and kinda handsome, he seems to be a lot of things I look for in a man. Ok, well, maybe minus a couple of those qualities. Regardless of the fact he is completely fictional, I love him and he is going straight into the future husband files.
I highly recommend you watch Oz, people. In my opinion it’s not as intricate as the Wire, and probably not quite as good a quality show, but it is ludicrously entertaining and perhaps more addictive - even if it does have a few unnecessarily wacky and supernatural bits, and a little bit too much wang on show. I heard recently that Fraksha is a big fan of wang though, maybe that’s why he got into it again. OK I kid, I kid, but the show is sick. Watch it.
Unsurprisingly, the crush whore in me has had my eye on many a felon in the Oswald Correctional facility. Notable among my loves is my pedo crush on the obnoxious 17 year old Kenny Wangler, obscure crush on lunatic but deep down good guy Miguel Alvarez, and my creepy crush on rapist/murderer ‘Snake’.
The paddy blood in me trumps all other crushes though, with my devotion to Irish cheekster Ryan O’Reily conquering all.
I don’t know exactly what it is about this guy, but I seriously adore him. Sarcastic, cheeky, devoted, intelligent, selfish, sneaky, manipulative, funny, and kinda handsome, he seems to be a lot of things I look for in a man. Ok, well, maybe minus a couple of those qualities. Regardless of the fact he is completely fictional, I love him and he is going straight into the future husband files.
I highly recommend you watch Oz, people. In my opinion it’s not as intricate as the Wire, and probably not quite as good a quality show, but it is ludicrously entertaining and perhaps more addictive - even if it does have a few unnecessarily wacky and supernatural bits, and a little bit too much wang on show. I heard recently that Fraksha is a big fan of wang though, maybe that’s why he got into it again. OK I kid, I kid, but the show is sick. Watch it.
Monday, May 17, 2010
ALF
legends 'Doodle Burger' have turned legend Alf Stewart from Home and Away into even more of a radballs legend. this clip - and the other alf x doodle burger clips - are doing the rounds at the moment. legendary.
I FEEL SICK
OMARION - I'M TRYNA
“Its like oohoohoohoohooh
I just can't get over you
Girl oohoohoohoohooh
Feel like I caught the flu”
Feel like I caught the flu? Wow, that’s romantic.
P.S. You're indoors pal, take your sunnies off.
“Its like oohoohoohoohooh
I just can't get over you
Girl oohoohoohoohooh
Feel like I caught the flu”
Feel like I caught the flu? Wow, that’s romantic.
P.S. You're indoors pal, take your sunnies off.
ADAM'S HAT IS ON FIRE
yes this is my father.
yes he is wearing a sombrero.
yes it is on fire.
...all in a day's work for the dadam...
PLUMBER'S CRACK OR BATTY CLEAVAGE?
I was recently told by a male acquaintance that he found a little bit of bumcrack poking out the top of a pair of jeans rather sexy. Really sexy actually.
“Really?” was the only reply I could muster. “Reeeaaaaally?”
Something that has always been so distasteful in my eyes, something that signifies carelessness, classlessness, tackiness – and conjures images in my mind of fat, balding tradies who eat deep fried jam sandwiches for lunch and blow their nose on their sleeve – someone finds that sexy?
It got me thinking…
Everyone has different tastes, right? Asian girls with blonde hair, Black dudes wearing skulleys, skinny white androgynous boys. Some people like girls in trainers, some people like girls in heels. Some people like guys clean shaven, some people like guys with a little bit of facial hair, some people like guys with fully fledged beards. Whatever you can think of, there’s bound to be someone out there who is turned on by it. But I couldn’t help but wonder, was this friend of mine (who shall remain nameless – you know who you are) alone in his love for a little glimpse at what girls pack in the back of their jeans, or, is this something most dudes like but something that I, as a female, have never really been aware of?
I mean, I know that batty crease (that line where bum meets thigh) is a massive turn on for a lot of guys, but the actual crack itself? Does it perhaps depend on the amount of crack exposed? …Ranging from just that little bit of crack shadow to full on, ‘I could put a whole metcard in between your cheeks’ kinda crack?
I decided to ask around – work colleagues, friends, etc - and the response was varied. But there was a general consensus that any form of a ‘glimpse into the unknown’ was a good thing. However, most guys did say it really depends on whose crack it was that was exposed. Unlike breasticles – where it doesn’t really matter how pretty/hot a girl is, if she has a good rack it will no doubt be stared at/explored in a man’s mind – if a hottie is exposing a bit of bum it invites the viewer to imagine everything else under the clothes, whereas if said girl is erm, shall we say ‘undesireable’, it is far more unattractive than anything else.
I find this difference between boobs and bum interesting, as anyone who has watched The Office (UK version of course) knows, the very reason a man is attracted to a woman’s cleavage is because it reminds him of his Neanderthal days and ‘doing’ a woman from behind (this is very likely not quite fact but I dare not question David Brent’s knowledge). I guess this explains why more guys I asked said a little crack was a good thing, while only a few found it a turn off.
I returned to ask the first guy more about exactly why he likes ass cleavage and he gave me three reasons:
1. Seeing just that little bit extra skin,
2. The idea the girl is unaware she is flashing a little bit (creepy, no?), and
3. As a lover of a big behind, he loves the concept that a bum is just simply too big for the jeans it has been squeezed into.
… Wish I didn’t ask…
So, I guess I can kind of understand the sexiness now, and maybe when I next see some peroxided twenty-something with FaceOff jeans and a fake Louis bag on the Epping line, with just that little bit of crack action on display, well maybe I’ll think of her differently. But probably not. Either way, I’m still going to buy pants that fit me.
“Really?” was the only reply I could muster. “Reeeaaaaally?”
Something that has always been so distasteful in my eyes, something that signifies carelessness, classlessness, tackiness – and conjures images in my mind of fat, balding tradies who eat deep fried jam sandwiches for lunch and blow their nose on their sleeve – someone finds that sexy?
It got me thinking…
Everyone has different tastes, right? Asian girls with blonde hair, Black dudes wearing skulleys, skinny white androgynous boys. Some people like girls in trainers, some people like girls in heels. Some people like guys clean shaven, some people like guys with a little bit of facial hair, some people like guys with fully fledged beards. Whatever you can think of, there’s bound to be someone out there who is turned on by it. But I couldn’t help but wonder, was this friend of mine (who shall remain nameless – you know who you are) alone in his love for a little glimpse at what girls pack in the back of their jeans, or, is this something most dudes like but something that I, as a female, have never really been aware of?
I mean, I know that batty crease (that line where bum meets thigh) is a massive turn on for a lot of guys, but the actual crack itself? Does it perhaps depend on the amount of crack exposed? …Ranging from just that little bit of crack shadow to full on, ‘I could put a whole metcard in between your cheeks’ kinda crack?
I decided to ask around – work colleagues, friends, etc - and the response was varied. But there was a general consensus that any form of a ‘glimpse into the unknown’ was a good thing. However, most guys did say it really depends on whose crack it was that was exposed. Unlike breasticles – where it doesn’t really matter how pretty/hot a girl is, if she has a good rack it will no doubt be stared at/explored in a man’s mind – if a hottie is exposing a bit of bum it invites the viewer to imagine everything else under the clothes, whereas if said girl is erm, shall we say ‘undesireable’, it is far more unattractive than anything else.
I find this difference between boobs and bum interesting, as anyone who has watched The Office (UK version of course) knows, the very reason a man is attracted to a woman’s cleavage is because it reminds him of his Neanderthal days and ‘doing’ a woman from behind (this is very likely not quite fact but I dare not question David Brent’s knowledge). I guess this explains why more guys I asked said a little crack was a good thing, while only a few found it a turn off.
I returned to ask the first guy more about exactly why he likes ass cleavage and he gave me three reasons:
1. Seeing just that little bit extra skin,
2. The idea the girl is unaware she is flashing a little bit (creepy, no?), and
3. As a lover of a big behind, he loves the concept that a bum is just simply too big for the jeans it has been squeezed into.
… Wish I didn’t ask…
So, I guess I can kind of understand the sexiness now, and maybe when I next see some peroxided twenty-something with FaceOff jeans and a fake Louis bag on the Epping line, with just that little bit of crack action on display, well maybe I’ll think of her differently. But probably not. Either way, I’m still going to buy pants that fit me.
GUNS AND PORK
totally hearting SHADRACK and the Man Dem right about now. my favourite thing about this vid? definitely the rollerskates. check out some of their other videos - only rulers rock out under a doona while driving a car. Bendigo is definitely going into the future husband files.
FIRST POST
Well well well, here i am thinking i'm so important other people might want to read about what's going on in my head and world at the moment. Who am i kidding? i AM that important.
i hereby welcome myself to the world of the blog.
i hereby welcome myself to the world of the blog.
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