PLUMBER'S CRACK OR BATTY CLEAVAGE?

I was recently told by a male acquaintance that he found a little bit of bumcrack poking out the top of a pair of jeans rather sexy. Really sexy actually.
“Really?” was the only reply I could muster. “Reeeaaaaally?”

Something that has always been so distasteful in my eyes, something that signifies carelessness, classlessness, tackiness – and conjures images in my mind of fat, balding tradies who eat deep fried jam sandwiches for lunch and blow their nose on their sleeve – someone finds that sexy?

It got me thinking…
Everyone has different tastes, right? Asian girls with blonde hair, Black dudes wearing skulleys, skinny white androgynous boys. Some people like girls in trainers, some people like girls in heels. Some people like guys clean shaven, some people like guys with a little bit of facial hair, some people like guys with fully fledged beards. Whatever you can think of, there’s bound to be someone out there who is turned on by it. But I couldn’t help but wonder, was this friend of mine (who shall remain nameless – you know who you are) alone in his love for a little glimpse at what girls pack in the back of their jeans, or, is this something most dudes like but something that I, as a female, have never really been aware of?

I mean, I know that batty crease (that line where bum meets thigh) is a massive turn on for a lot of guys, but the actual crack itself? Does it perhaps depend on the amount of crack exposed? …Ranging from just that little bit of crack shadow to full on, ‘I could put a whole metcard in between your cheeks’ kinda crack?

I decided to ask around – work colleagues, friends, etc - and the response was varied. But there was a general consensus that any form of a ‘glimpse into the unknown’ was a good thing. However, most guys did say it really depends on whose crack it was that was exposed. Unlike breasticles – where it doesn’t really matter how pretty/hot a girl is, if she has a good rack it will no doubt be stared at/explored in a man’s mind – if a hottie is exposing a bit of bum it invites the viewer to imagine everything else under the clothes, whereas if said girl is erm, shall we say ‘undesireable’, it is far more unattractive than anything else.

I find this difference between boobs and bum interesting, as anyone who has watched The Office (UK version of course) knows, the very reason a man is attracted to a woman’s cleavage is because it reminds him of his Neanderthal days and ‘doing’ a woman from behind (this is very likely not quite fact but I dare not question David Brent’s knowledge). I guess this explains why more guys I asked said a little crack was a good thing, while only a few found it a turn off.

I returned to ask the first guy more about exactly why he likes ass cleavage and he gave me three reasons:
1. Seeing just that little bit extra skin,
2. The idea the girl is unaware she is flashing a little bit (creepy, no?), and
3. As a lover of a big behind, he loves the concept that a bum is just simply too big for the jeans it has been squeezed into.
… Wish I didn’t ask…

So, I guess I can kind of understand the sexiness now, and maybe when I next see some peroxided twenty-something with FaceOff jeans and a fake Louis bag on the Epping line, with just that little bit of crack action on display, well maybe I’ll think of her differently. But probably not. Either way, I’m still going to buy pants that fit me.