ANOTHER WEAK EFFORT

Having recently become a member of one of the most hated groups in this city - cyclists - i have imagined many an incident in which i end up in hospital, or at least, narrowly escape such an event.
i have never really hurt myself very badly at any point in my life, the worst incident was probably slicing the whole bottom of my palm open quite deeply - many stitches needed - but alas, i did it on a roll of glad wrap so it was not a particularly exciting story to tell my friends.
my whole life i have been envious of those kids who would be away from school for a few days and return with a cast on their arm for everyone to write on, or even luckier in my eyes one on their leg. Broken bones, stitches, even getting braces was something i was envious of. (now that i'm thinking back, i DID get to wear a pirate-style eye patch for a while in year 11, which was pretty cool. However, it was because some kid in year 7 accidentally kicked a soccer ball into my face so again, not that great a story)...
Whilst i certainly haven't been HOPING i would end up in hospital as a result of riding a bike, i have definitely imagined a thousand glamorous scenarios which would be my inevitable first crash. you know, getting hit by a car pulling out of a side street (gently enough i don't hurt myself), riding over some sharp bump and flipping over the handle bars but landing on my feet like a ninja, pelting along the road and getting clipped by a tram that sends me flying along the ground in front of a moving truck, but army rolling out of harm's way Indiana Jones style. Maybe even saving a baby in the process.
But no, my first crash was to be nothing of the sort. My first crash (like my few other life injuries) was to be one of the most ridiculous, uncoordinated mishaps that even i could think of:
So there i was, flying along the road riding from uni to the pub (thursday is cider day for me and the girls in my spanish class) when SUDDENLY the handle bars dropped (and i tumbled forward) and me and the bike crumpled together and slid along the road for a metre or so (the rough gravel did its darndest to stop us going far). Knee smashed into the ground and the slide burnt a hole in my jeans and grazed my leg, wrist tangled in the handlebars and palm all scratched up from breaking my fall, backpack on top of my head and bike grease all over my ankles and shoes. in a split second i stood up and dragged the bike and the front wheel to the side of the road so i didn't top my fall by getting run over as well. yes, the bike and the front wheel.
In true to myself fashion, i had managed to crash my bike without even crashing it. i had hurt myself and made a complete fool of myself in front of an entire cafe full of people independent of any other moving, or even stationary, object.
Yes, my front wheel fell off. Completely detached itself from the bike while i was pelting at full speed.
Skills.